Now, two leave stories, both from Jeffery Hanley of Vernon, B.C.

A friend of mine was one day late from leave and telegraphed his commanding officer (CO): “Unable to return to duty because of unexpected snowstorm. Will return as soon as possible.”

The CO telegraphed back: “Extension granted. Bring pictures.”

During a short leave in Italy, a friend steamed open a carton of cigarettes, removed the fags and replaced them with slices of bread.

It was not long before he found a sucker, an American GI who offered him a bottle of vodka for the cigarettes. The trade was made and my friend nipped to a secluded spot for a fast swig–of crystal-clear water.