John Hishon of Windsor, Ont., and Brock Cummings of Prescott, Ont., both sent this story; here’s Mr. Hishon’s version:

A paratroop recruit was given the following instructions for a training jump: “You’ll jump at 5,000 feet; on the count of 10 you will pull your main chute; if it fails you pull your reserve chute, and when you land the truck will pick you up and bring you back to camp.”

The recruit jumped, pulled the main chute, and it didn’t open. He pulled the reserve chute. It didn’t open. The recruit mumbled to himself: “And I suppose the damned truck won’t be there, either.”

We recently heard an updated version of the parachute joke:

After the reserve chute fails to open the rapidly-descending parachutist meets a man ascending just as quickly and calls out:

“Do you know anything about parachutes?”

“No” comes the reply “Do you know anything about propane stoves?”