Month: February 2014

Humour Hunt

Humour Hunt

An old joke from Legion Magazine’s precursor, The Legionary, tells of an old war veteran returned to his home town for a banquet given by his army buddies. He expected them to talk over old times, but one talked incessantly about his bad liver, another couldn’t keep quiet about his weak heart and a third droned on about his kidney problems.  Returning home, his wife asked him how he enjoyed the banquet.  “Banquet!” he snorted.  “It wasn’t a banquet; it was an organ recital.”
Humour Hunt

Humour Hunt

Mac Ruttan of Ottawa tells us the following appeared in the personal column of Navy News, the Royal Navy’s monthly publication.  “Lonely Lady (44) divorced, lost and adrift, needs capable unattached skipper to take her in tow.  Reply Box No….”
Humour Hunt

Humour Hunt

B.E. Smith of London, Ont., submitted a story from his navy days: His captain found defaulters pretty monotonous. So, to add some zest to the proceedings, he announced he would dismiss any case with a truly original excuse–the rest might better plead guilty.  One morning, when their carrier was anchored off Kingston, Jamaica, the short patrol gave evidence that one sailor, charged with being drunk on shore, had staggered down the jetty and straight off the deep end. Speaking on his own behalf, he said, “I wasn’t drunk, Sir.” “You weren’t drunk?” responded the captain.  “How is it, then, that you tried to walk out to the ship?” “I wasn’t trying to walk, Sir.  I tried to jump.” “Case dismissed.”
Memoirs

The Wedding Cake

Published in Legion Magazine, February 1964 By Joy Smith Exclusive Audio Version:    Many young people today probably have never heard the word “rationing,” but back in the “old days” of 1943 it had a very real meaning, particularly to those of us who were living in the U.K. Living in the south of England, and being exposed to many “elements” of the Canadian Army, nature eventually took its course and I fell in love. My husband-to-be was a member of a famed Canadian regiment, and, though quite shy at first, very soon made it apparent that he meant business! Ask any British war-bride, and she will tell you it just had to be love when a girl had to go through all those preliminary questions, blood tests, and supplying of references and still came up smiling and wanting to...
Humour Hunt

Humour Hunt

Mac Ruttan of Ottawa tells us of a Captain Jonathan Pearce of the Royal Artillery who was serving in the garrison at Gilbraltar. He was accidently shot and killed by his batman who was subsequently exonerated of all blame by a court of inquiry. The authorities notified Capt. Pearce’s next-of-kin and asked what inscription they would like engraved on his headstone. The family, having only been advised that he died in the course of duty, replied with remarkable, albeit possibly unfortunate, insight that it would like the inscription to read: “Well Done Thou Good And Faithful Servant.”
Memoirs

God Knows

Published in Legion Magazine, November 1984 By Rosemary Hutchinson Exclusive Audio Version:   The year of our war 1944 finds me and my friend Charlie still driving cars in the RCAF, but Ottawa has lifted us out of Newfoundland and plunked us on a Yorkshire bomber station. We are having supper in the mess. I jab at a piece of burnt toast covered with blobs of melted cheese, the whole surmounted by a piece of raw bacon. Only in the air force have they the ability to burn the bottom of something and leave the top raw. “Hey Charlie, called the maitre d’. This bacon is still twitching, it’s about to crawl off the plate.” Charlie flips her toast in the air with her fork to see if the other side looks better. “Very funny,” she says, then changing the subject: “When are w...

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